Wednesday, August 26

The Sling Diaries Volume VI Better Together ::laughter::

My grandfather died four weeks ago.  Three weeks ago, my mama was diagnosed with cancer.  Forgive me if I got too deep, too quick, but I don't really feel like beating around the bush with this one.  It seems to me that each one of my sling diary posts has hit exactly at the time of a life changing event.  Then, even though I would much rather talk about the happiest things and put on my biggest smile, I can't go through life pretending. 

Losing my grandfather was the first time that someone dear to me passed away and with him being in the other side of the world, it didn't make things any easier.  My family and I talked a lot and we truly felt so blessed and at such a peace knowing what a beautiful and long life he led and the legacy that he left behind.  Just when I started to grasp life without him on this earth, my dad called me with the shocking news about my mom.  I don't want to say the c word, and I hate how quickly everything is happening.  Like I haven't even had time to process what's going on and I'm not sure she has too, but by the time I finish this post, her first day of chemotherapy will start.  I used to make chemo under the hood in the pharmacy on weekends.  Not that it matters, but it just hits me as so odd that there will be a pharmacist somewhere making those same infusions I used to make for strangers, for my own mother. 

I don't doubt that my mother will be cured, however I do know that both her and my whole family are stricken with grief that she even has to endure this.  The fatigue and pain and side effects, my husband called it anticipatory grief.  One minute I'm laughing and doing great, then the next minute I cry so hard that my vision is left blurry.  "Mama okay? Mama sad?" Ariella says.  I wish I can talk about this all in the past tense kind of like goodness it was so hard but we made it through and everything is wonderful...but the reality is that we are going through this right at this very moment.  We are in the middle of the biggest move of our lives, so many changes coming our way, then I'm praying that when we see my mama that she will still have her hair.  When it rains, it pours right?

Ironically, it poured today, so much so that the beaches had to close.  

Somewhere along these past three weeks, Ariella learned the word funny and looks at us and says "mama funny!" or "daddy funny!"  It is the cutest thing in the world and we always giggle so much. She started making funny faces and noises and fake laughs at herself in the mirror and it's hilarious. She gets her loud and boisterous laugh from me, my love says.  Gwendolyn just started making those adorable baby giggles that brighten everyone's day.  I'm pretty certain that we spend many of our days doing more laughing than anything else though.  And when you hear your children laughing, there is nothing that can take that joy away from you.  They don't know the pain of yesterday or the woes of tomorrow, they just know that right here right now, it is the greatest moment that they have ever lived and they relish in it, as should we.  They fully embrace the fleeting nature of life and remind me of it every single day.  I am so thankful that I don't have the opportunity to completely submerse myself in some of life's sadness because they have taught me how much there is to laugh about. 

When we passed our neighbor today, we talked about the weather because there's like a rule somewhere that says you have to talk about the weather with your neighbors right?  He complained about the downpour and I complained about the humidity making it hard to breathe but then he said something that turned the whole conversation around.  He said I'm so glad that it's raining though, that's what makes our land lush and green.  This perspective made me think that maybe it's a good thing that it's pouring in our lives as well.  I know we will all come out of it stronger than ever, and my family will be united in the most beautiful of ways. 

We booked our flights to see my mom in a few short weeks.  I want to see her so bad but what I want even more is for her to see our baby girls.  I know that just being around them will bring her so much happiness and maybe her pain will get better, even if it's just for a few moments at a time.  I truly believe that laughter is the best medicine, because it's good for the soul.  And when it is well with my soul, then it is well.  
It is well. 
 *the sling that I am photographed wearing Gwendolyn in is Pink Sand from the simple silk collection of slings provided to me by Sakura Bloom.  Again, I am so grateful and humbled for the opportunity to work with a company that I absolutely love*

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