you are enough

My love is a psychiatrist, a correctional psychiatrist to be more specific.  He works with the mentally ill in the jails here in Honolulu.  He doesn't tell me much about what goes on at his work to protect me, but I've seen a few episodes of Locked Up Raw.  He says it's worse.

His job is so difficult.  What I admire most about him is that he treats all of his patients as human beings.  Yes, patients, not inmates.  The Hippocratic Oath, "first, do no harm," that my husband took when he graduated from medical school is something that he takes very seriously.  Above all, he takes the Spirit with him and shines His light in a place full of sadness, hatred, and darkness.  He shows his patients love, kindness, and mercy.  He doesn't look at their criminal charges before deciding how to proceed with treatment.  He treats them all equally.  Some of his patients have families, some don't.  Some have multiple offenses, some it's their first.  Some are sorry, and some are not.

That doesn't change anything for him, because our recurring offenses don't change anything for God, He loves us unconditionally and has already forgiven us.

Lately, I've been seeing a lot of posts about mothers judging how others mother.  Whether it be for the way they birthed their children, how long they kept their children in car seats, whether they breastfeed, or formula feed, whether they feed their children organic food or junk food, and the list goes on and on.  I can't tell you how much it makes my heart hurt.

We are treating each other like criminals, with un-excusable offenses.  Are we all such perfect parents that we can judge how every one else does a job that is the most difficult job on this Earth?  How do we choose what we consider as more important?

Are you the better parent because you do extended rear-facing but could not breastfeed?

Are you the better parent because you had a natural birth but feed your child junk food from time to time?

How do we choose?!

We don't.  We are all doing the best we can.  All of us.  We are enough.

I've had enough of the guilt.  I want to spend more of my day feeling loved and worthy, rather than guilty because I gave Ari Love a cheese puff because I needed 5 minutes to just sit and relax.  Just 5 minutes.  She loves those cheese puffs.  I am a good parent, and so are you.

To the mothers who had a natural birth, and to the mothers who had epidurals, you are loved and you are enough.

To the mothers who gave birth at home or at a birth center, and to the mothers who gave birth in a hospital, you are loved and you are enough.

To the mothers who had a vaginal birth, and to the mothers who had a C-Section, you are loved and you are enough.

To the mothers who gained a little weight during pregnancy, and to the mothers who gained 60+ pounds like me, you are beautiful, you are loved, and you are enough.

To the mothers who lost their baby weight in a matter of minutes after giving birth, and to the mothers who are still struggling months post-partum, you are beautiful, you are loved, and you are enough.

To the mothers who even got stretch marks in places you didn't even know you could, and to the mothers who didn't, you are beautiful, you are loved, and you are enough.

To the families who can conceive a child in a matter of minutes, and to the families who struggle with infertility, you are loved and you are enough.

To the mothers who grew their child in their belly, and to the mothers who grew their child in their heart, you are loved and you are enough.

To the mothers who had post-partum depression, and to the mothers who didn't, you are loved and you are enough.

To the parents who breastfeed, and to the parents who formula feed, you are loved and you are enough.

To the parents who cosleep, and to the parents whose children have their own rooms, you are loved and you are enough.

To the parents who baby-wear, and to the parents who use strollers, you are loved and you are enough.

To the parents who cloth diaper, and to the parents who use disposable diapers, you are loved and you are enough.

To the parents who vaccinate, and to the parents who don't vaccinate, you are loved and you are enough.

To the parents who circumcised their son, and to the parents who didn't circumsize their son, you are loved and you are enough.

To the parents who do extended rear-facing car seats, and to the parents who don't, you are loved and you are enough.

To the parents who only feed their children organic food, and to the parents who give in to junk food, you are loved and you are enough.

To the parents who send their children to day care, and to the parents who stay at home with their children, you are loved and you are enough.

To the mothers who are also the father, and to the fathers who are also a mother, you are loved and you are enough.

Parenthood is not a competition, it is an experience.  Let this beautiful journey be what unites us, not what divides us.  

This why I have learned over and over again not to measure my worth by other people's opinions of me.  Despite my constant shortcomings, my constant sin whether it be in the flesh or in my thoughts, my constant failures, God tells me again and again that I am worthy, I am loved, and I am enough for Him. 

Keep God first, love Him, love your partner, and love your children, and your life will flourish beyond your wildest dreams.

xoxo,