Living Fast

A share from my husband, C. Brent Lawlis.  He writes:


Living fast; Careless acts,
Hedonic drives of lonely lives.

Endless voids left unfilled...

Searching blindly for that unknown reality that will lead to freedom:

Pure liberation of the sweetest kind,
Divine love with endless shine,
They tell me God smiles as we rest;

But what of the times when chaos swirls,
A running mind, another girl.
Striving, yearning, moving, doing;
...to achieve that dream that America has predetermined for me:

Money, cars, drugs, bars,...
And Oh,... I do it well!
The coolest of the cool; ...an entitled fool.
And oh, I do it well!

To live my life they would kill and steal,
A golden-boy with nerves of steel.
Working hard and playing harder,
Impressed friends and proud fathers.

Privileged, educated, supported, and loved,
...An easy-road with unneeded blood.

But bleed I did to feel the pain,
To take what's mine, to earn a name;

Yes,... I have been perfected by a rigid system that breeds independence through competition.

Still,...Surely I'm not good enough,...

If only they knew.
If only they saw through.

If they saw humanity as I have known it to be,
...and were perceptive enough to see it in me.

How could they relate at all?
They embrace the rise; Ignore the fall.
I AM NOT WORTHY!

Come brother,... and sit awhile,
A warm embrace, a knowing smile.
Songs that set the spirit free,
And words of truth that hold the key:

Unlocking rusty chains of condemnation and sentences of guilt.
Chipping at the hard walls I had so carefully built around my heart.

Everything in my being tells me to resist:

Do not give them anything!
They will inevitably use it against you;
To hurt you, to bring you down.

And then,...

A cathartic release of primal readiness,
Sit quietly; Sit still.
Know I am God,
And that you are mine.

To finally FEEL that endless shine.
A joy like no other, from a spirit of the holiest nature.

Connected through righteous relationship; ONE BODY.

Yes,...I have been perfected by a loving God that breeds dependence through cooperation.

YOU ARE FORGIVEN!