I started the draft to this post a few days ago, feeling amazing that
I had the audacity to get dressed and be photographed and it all left
me feeling so confident and fabulous. My family was here helping me
with the girls while my love was away at a conference so I ventured out
by myself to the mall to shop for a new pair of boots for the season. That's when it happened.
I complimented this beautiful mama on her equally beautiful baby because I was missing our babies and she sweetly asked me how many weeks pregnant I was.
The weird thing is that it didn't really catch me so off guard
initially, because my response to her was that I was 8 weeks
post-partum, you know, in the fourth trimester. She kept apologizing
over and over and I told her that it was ok and that if I wasn't
confident in myself and my body then I wouldn't be wearing a form
fitting dress after all.
I believed that about myself, I
really did. I really do. But the minutes after that encounter somehow
started shifting and my emotions became strong and I lost grip on
myself and I started feeling faint and my eyes became foggy and my brain
disoriented and I embarrassed myself by blindly attempting to go up the
wrong way on the escalators and almost falling (like not in the fun way
that we used to do when we were younger haha) I just looked like a
weirdo lady who was confused and had no idea what was going on. I
pretended like I meant to do that and walked out to my car and called my
husband and cried.
Dang it honey, I was feeling so
good about myself, and I had just started this style post that was going
to be about how even though I still have a lot of weight to lose to get
back to my pre-pregnancy weight, I want to celebrate the body that I
have, now. Treat it like a temple, now. Appreciate it, now. Dress it
up, now. Love, it now. But now all I feel is like God is giving me a
huge dose of humility and maybe I just need to stop. My sweet husband
was watching the Cowboys game at the Buffalo Wild Wings in Tennessee
(pray for them this season..every season haha) and he says no honey,
you're wrong, that's not from God. He tells me that he's sorry that it
happened and that I'm beautiful but that after my emotions wear away
that I need to come back here and finish what I started. So here I am
my love, and you were right.
This is the post that I started initially:
So here's the thing. I
gave birth 8 weeks ago. And in many ways, I am still pregnant and
(most of the time) I am completely ok with that. My organs are still
slowly finding their way back to their old homes and my milk is
stabilizing mostly and my hormones are not as raging and I have 35
pounds to lose to get to my pre-pre-pregnancy weight. I say pre-pre
because I've been pregnant for 3 years basically and while I got really
really close, I never made it completely back to my pre-pregnancy weight
after giving birth to Gwendolyn before becoming pregnant again with
Florence. My body is all about the whole 9 months on 9 months off
thing (more like 10 but who's counting!), and I didn't get my full 9 months this time and you know what,
I'm going to stop here. I feel like I'm rambling and somewhat like I'm
apologizing or giving some sort of disclaimer for what my body looks
like or something. The only one that I should be apologizing to right
now is to myself, and to you, for thinking that I have to justify or
validate why I look the way I do and not just tell you about this outfit
that makes me feel absolutely fabulous. When I was younger, I remember buying clothes that would be 2 sizes too small because surely I was going to shed some pounds and fit into them in a few months. I yoyo'd a lot so many times I never got the chance to enjoy an outfit like I could have if only I would have bought the correct
size and love and accepted myself as I was at that moment. I know
better now. And as Maya Angelou has said, "when you know better, you
do better." So anyhow, my post birth brain is on a hormonal high and has been pushing me to get consistent with my nursing style features because someone somewhere out there needs to hear this. You were beautiful then, and you are beautiful now.
Reading that makes me pretty proud to be honest. If you're waiting to "bounce back," there's no better time than to do it now. Choose to proclaim that you've already bounced back, no matter where you are in that journey. Choose to love you. Go out, strap a baby on your chest, put the bigger babies in the stroller and do something that makes you feel like a queen. Even if it's some grocery store lipstick or a necklace or new socks or a book or music or cuddle time with your husband or coffee that someone else makes for you. Don't apologize, and remember to say thank you. Most importantly, to your body for growing amazing humans.
I love this outfit because for starters, you could wear your pajamas under the trench and no one would ever know! I opted for a black nursing friendly tank and black leggings for the warmer fall day. It's also perfect for the cooler days, just pair it with a sweater or long sleeve thermal. I felt comfortable wearing this to the coffee shop, and I can't wait to wear it again for a dinner date with my family.
Details//
Suede Trench Vest: WhoWhatWear
Hat: Target (similar here or here)
Booties: Aldo (similar here)
*This post contains affiliate links, which means that if you click and shop through my blog, I receive a commission from your purchase. I only post about things that I truly and confidently believe in so that you can do your shopping confidently as well. XX, Madina*
Bag: old thrifted Louis Vuitton
perfect !
ReplyDeleteThank you so much xx
DeleteWhat a bold momma! I think I had a melt down at least once a week (usually on sundays) after having my babies. Nothing feels like it fit and I was lactating everywhere! Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I think some of the boldest things we say are the most relateable, it's just getting to that place of having the guts to say it haha! It's been a healing experience for sure, thank you so much for being here xx
DeleteSooo cute!!!!! I want that outfit!!
ReplyDeleteGet it haha! You will look amazing!
DeleteI love your outfit. The trench vest is so chic for Fall.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I just got some new boots on sale so I'm excited to pair it with them as well! xx
Delete