Thursday, February 11

14 weeks

14 weeks.
I knew on that drive home from Dallas, the lingering nausea in the back of my mind that I couldn't shake off simply by shifting positions.
I knew the day before, when I wore the same dress that fit my recently flat post-partum stomach, now had a small bump that I knew wasn't just the product of the big meal I had the night before.  My hunger became constant and my fatigue was definitely undeniable.  I kept telling myself that perhaps it was just because I'm nursing two babies...but I knew.  I became just a tiny bit sensitive when nursing and needed to take little breaks.
It was a Monday.  I made an excuse to go to the grocery store and even though I drove, I was out of breath from anticipation.
I realized the other day that in all three of our pregnancies, all I've ever taken was one pregnancy test to confirm what I already knew.  Just one.  I never took another one to make sure and we would announce to our family right away.
I have truly understood what a blessing that is.

I cried a little.  
Not from sadness because I wanted you and already loved you more than I love myself.  
But because it felt like I had been keeping a secret.
I look back now at the family photo that we took for Christmas and realize that I was carrying you then.  The canvas on the wall reminds me that you were actually the greatest gift that we would receive that year.  
The beautiful wedding that we witnessed, I shopped for the perfect dress for weeks before only to return 4 of them because I needed room for you.  I was already your mother then when dancing with my love, your father.  Your sisters were upstairs fast asleep.  
My mother missed two of my pregnancies, and now that the fragility of life has become all too real in our family, she finally gets to experience the miracle of life with us, with you.  
I know that God works in mysterious ways, but sometimes, I'm so thankful that His ways can be extremely obvious as well.

Welcome home.


  1. Oh this is so much loveliness. What memories you are making!

    1. Thank you so much sweet friend, your comment really resonated with my heart. You're right, it's about the memories! xx