Thursday, October 30

celebrating a revolution

It has taken me such a long time to find the right words to write this post and I am not really sure why.  Perhaps it's because I am in denial of the fact that the Earth has already done more than an entire revolution around the sun since the birth of the child that made my love and I parents.  Perhaps it's also because we now have a toddler...a very curious, beautiful, intelligent, and extremely active one year old.  She has always been all of those things, but finding time to write now that she can run around and get literally into anything and everything is a bit more tricky...but there is also so much beauty in it.  I don't want to miss a single thing.  Sometimes I am so overwhelmed with creativity and the desire to sit and jot my thoughts down or edit photographs for just a few minutes...

So much happens in "just a few minutes" in toddler time.  Like when she stands in front of the mirror when she thinks no one is watching and bats her eyelashes sweetly then smiles so big at herself...she gets that from her daddy :P  Or when I'm done dressing her and putting her hair in little pig tails and she takes a moment to hug and kiss me for taking time to get her ready as well.  Yesterday, while in the process of writing some of this post, she woke up from her nap and when I laid with her in our bed, she hugged me so tight and fell right back asleep in my arms.  I played with her long, dark eyelashes and let that beautiful moment really sink in.  For a whole two minutes on Sunday, our precious Ariella Love said "I love you" over and over again, to her daddy and then to me.  It was loud and clear and I could have never imagined a more perfect two minutes in my life to witness.  If you would like proof, I uploaded a video of that precious moment on my Instagram (@city_of_hearts).  I promise you, she said it. 

I would go through another 20 hours of natural labor every single day for the rest of my life.  I am so thankful that I wrote down our birth story (you can find it here) because I have miraculously forgotten much of it.  I sometimes go back and read it just to remember what it was like, but then I come to a very humbling realization.  "Our" birth story was as much for me as it was for her.  If I am going to be really honest with myself, it was much more for me.  I needed to feel strong and empowered, this has always been my nature.  I thought it would help set the tone for my entry into the beautiful world of motherhood, and it has and I am so grateful.  In the grand scheme of things though, it's not really about me at all.  This little girl, in her short life on Earth has done more birthing than I ever will in my entire life.

Happy birthday sweet Ari Love.  Thank you for making my love your daddy.  I've always loved him, but when I see him playing and giggling with you, I love him more now than I ever thought possible.  Thank you for making me your mama and helping me realize that I am strong enough.  You have shined Jesus' light since you were conceived and He works through you every day to show me things that I have been so blind to before.

Your grandparents flew all the way from Texas just to be at your birthday party.  Every single person that we invited came with a huge smile on their face just to celebrate your special day.  I know you won't remember but my favorite part was when we all sang you happy birthday and you realized that all of this was for you.  You smiled and clapped so joyfully for yourself, and your daddy and I cried.

So while your mama has a 20 hour birth story, you precious girl have a whole life's worth of life changing birth stories, day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute.  I promise I won't let any of them to go unnoticed. 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  (Psalm 139:13-16)