Wednesday, March 11

messes and roses

This will most likely be the last time that I will be documenting as a mother of one, and a family of three, God-willing.  As I stand here typing, I am also doing my exercises to hopefully bring on labor soon.

Much of the communication between my loves and I lies in the words of a flower.  

~I needed a head shot, but since I have never been one to comply with societal or business standards, I chose to make something that defined something about my heart and whose I am.

~I used to cringe at the thought of messes, the compulsive part of me eats pizza with a fork and a knife.  Then Ari Love taught me something life changing, that true beauty lies in all of the seasons of life, and especially in the messy ones because that is where most of our growth is done. 

~I have found that a beautiful rose infused bath can completely change your outlook on how you view the mess that got you there in the first place.  If we were to play a game of "he loves me, or he loves me not," I tell her that she will never need to worry because every single petal that will ever come off that rose will be one of the never ending love that her daddy and I will always have for her.

~We bought another bed that we added on to the side of our king size bed so that Ari Love can have her own space while still in the same room with us, but she still prefers to be cuddled up right next to me and my baby belly.

~I have a secret, when I feel good, she feels good.  After breakfast most mornings, I try to put on a little make up and fix both of our hair.  My "real mom" reality is not yoga pants and t-shirts, or "messy hair don't care" because it's just not me and I do care, and that's ok.  

~Rose tea brings so many memories close to my heart, I am a believer in that if you eat and drink beautiful things, it will change the way you feel on the inside. 

~Saturdays are our most favorite days because the spontaneity of them always turns into moments in the day to cherish forever.  We dip our feet in the healing ocean and soak our skin in the rejuvenating power of the sun.  At 40 weeks pregnant and still wearing our Love, it makes me feel strong, my husband tells me how proud he is to walk by my side, and I always have a free hand for him to hold tight.

~I used to think that having a natural birth was the greatest feat of strength that I had ever accomplished, that is until I nursed while pregnant.  The difference for me was birthing naturally was more of a sprint, while nursing while pregnant is a marathon.  Do they make stickers for my car for that? haha  It has taught me the power of taking things one day at a time.  I'll be honest and say that I didn't think I would make it until now but we have and it brings tears to my eyes to think that we are still nursing strong.  Brent and I both really wanted Ari Love to nurse until 2 and beyond, and there were nights when he would look at me so apologetically, and my response to him would be, "you do it!" hahah  I couldn't have made it without his support and belief in my strength and so here it is documented forever and ever, 40 weeks and nursing our beautiful 17 month old and it is a time that I will hold on to for as long as I can.

~We only have 4 coffee mugs, but there is incredible power and love in simplicity.  Every morning when I wake up, I find that my darling husband intentionally left me the same mug that he drank his coffee in right next to the coffee pot.  Sharing this little gesture of love with him leaves me feeling like it's a Saturday morning, when we are enjoying our coffee together while watching the sunrise. 

~Emulating one of my favorite things about being her mamma.  There are so many times when I feel like a failure, but on this particular day, the tears didn't stop from flowing because I felt like somewhere along the line, I must have done something right.

~I paint her toes during naptime, because the look of complete joy and gratitude in her face when she wakes up trumps anything else that I should be doing while she sleeps.

"For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction."   


  1. So much beauty, light, and freedom. What a sweet home and family you are nurturing!

    1. Thank you so much, your comment means everything to me. I feel so very blessed to live this life with my love and babies. I only thought I was living before...<3

  2. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of your life and family Madina. There is so much love and light dripping from every picture you post and word you write. I'll be praying for you and your lovely family in this exciting time! I can't wait to see your next bundle of bliss.

    1. Oh Stacey, you are a light on a gloomy day. Thank you. Congratulations to your husband on matching! There is a special kind of joy that comes with being a doctor's wife, he is so blessed to have you to see him through such a difficult but rewarding journey. The next years of his life will be so much more beautiful with you by his side, encouraging him every step of the way, into the late calls, and saving lives. Bless you darling. <3

  3. just found and started reading your blog, so delightful! I don't know why I never looked it up before

    1. Thank you for following Anna! I can't wait to see you and Tenzin soon <3