Monday, February 2

humbled by grace

A few days ago, I was sleep deprived, exhausted, and extremely pregnant and lost my patience with our sweet daughter Ari Love. When I saw the look in her face from my reaction, my entire being prompted me to hug her and sign while telling her how sorry I am.

Her response was so beautiful.

She looked back lovingly at me and signed thank you. Thank you for saying that you're sorry mama, I love you, are the words that she conveyed to me.  With tears in my eyes, I became so humbled by the grace that she so quickly showed me.  Oh how my life was changed by that seemingly small, but incredibly significant moment.

Lately, I have been meditating on how truly imperfect I really am.  I try not to dwell on my daily failures, but I do want to consciously be aware of them for the future, because as Maya Angelou says "when you know better, you do better."

I have made and still make mistakes, and I have hurt people in my life and until I became a bit older and wiser did I truly comprehend how thankful I am for the second chances that have been given to me. I am thankful for the power of I'm sorry and for myself to have grown and matured enough to push my sinful pride aside and ask for forgiveness. I am thankful for my friends that have looked past my selfishness and let me back into their lives to share in each others joys and successes. For my incredible husband who always stands my side and tells me, I will always forgive you.  For our daughter who continually teaches me more about the power of love and grace than I have ever learned in my entire life.  Never have I experienced anything more humbling than asking for forgiveness from our own child.

I'm not sure why the phrase "childish ways" or other phrases with that same connotation even exist because most times, she exudes more maturity and grace than I do.  Honestly, I want to be more like her, because her childlike faith is a mirror image of who God is and such a beautiful example of His character.
There have been so many times when I honestly did not feel like I deserved forgiveness, but it was given to me anyway, because someone else chose to love me more.  I will never, ever take that for granted.

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